When it hails, there's tornados.
Five things that piss me off right now:
1. I screwed up my financial aid paperwork, and now my loan will be 1/2 what I though, and a week late.
2. Due to the lower loan, I have to cut out some wedding expenses AND ask my mom for help. I don't do well asking her for help with money. Sometime, ask me about how she sold my car to cover credit cards expenses when I left the country. She says I was running away, I said I had it all planned out, with minimum payments covered and everything, until I got back.
3. J earns $66 a day. In asking a raise, he has been forced to leave the place-- on principle. He works for Bif and his gang, who think that insulting a manager will make him stay.
4. My car is screwed up. we spent 236 on 2 tires wednesday. I need 2 more next month. AND brakes. AND a battery.
5. My desktop got a nasty virus, which I spent $150 'fixing' by wiping the harddrive, and as such, all programs and many files are gone, including WORD!. I can't find disks for that. I guess I will no longer type on that computer. Atleast I have a laptop.
6. I need to spend $100 on an external hard drive, so I don't have this happen again.
Five Good Things (must balance karma):
1. We are not angry about J's situation, just dissappointed in the stupidity of said owner. Apparently, when J gives word today, 3 servers, the bar manager, and 2 cooks will put in 2 weeks notice. They can get the same job elsewhere, and don't want to deal with BIF yelling at them without J to intercede. BIF and his gang will finally learn what they need to do to make a good restuarant, alone. (I Hope).
2. Wedding is two months away. If I think about the fun, its exciting. Otherwise, I'm kinda scared. I kinda want to hop on a plane and runaway for a weekend. It's not because of the wedding, I just want to run away from my life for a week, or so. Go 'find' the piece of my soul I left in Africa, and bring her home. Ok, well, I'd leave her there, but I want to go visit.
3. Syllabus is done for summer.
4. I feel hopeful about diss. proprosal.
5. Fancy Women's Studies Journal I was supposed to write article for last year, asked for the article again! (complications with J and life made it impossible for me to finish it last year) So hopefully, I can get a fancy schmancy publication in the fall!!!!!
Showing posts with label J. Show all posts
Showing posts with label J. Show all posts
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Saturday, October 27, 2007
I feel Better
Despite having an awful week, I feel better. I feel better because I got to talk through things with two friends. But is being in a relationship supposed to be so soap-opera-y?
I've decided that though J loves me with all his heart, and truly wants to start a family and have a family with me (and settle down), maybe he just doesn't really know what to do?
I know it's a stereotype that when women get married, it's always the man who needs to 'settle down', that men act adolescent. But it's true. I'm running out of ways to say how I feel when we have 'the fight'. Because we only fight about one issue, you know. Generally it revolves around J going out at night. He says he'll be home by 1230am, and that he'll do the dishes clean up-- or something--- (because, as he says, I have too much to do with my own schoolwork). He calls instead-- or I have to call him, at 1am. He promises to arrive at 130. 145. etc. With the exception of maybe 2 times, he shows up near three.
I insist that this means he lied. He stated one thing, and didn't follow through. And I always end up doing whatever house work is deemed necessary AND my studying, and fuming, etc.
Earlier this week was the last time he did it. (imagine this argument happening once every 2-3 weeks for over a year). He always promises to change, AND he thinks that it all stops the day we get married. I'm not comfortable with that idea.
OH OH AND, he doesn't confide in anybody! Christ, how can you get perspective on the situation--- where its clear, constantly, that you screw up, unless you ask a trusted friend for advice!
That's it. We still have marriage prep to do with the church, but first we are going to couples therapy. I'm tired of saying the same thing over and over. And I want him to grow up.
He acts like my students, not like my colleagues. But when I say that, he gets really offended.
Oh yeah, and I got NO schoolwork done yesterday. erg.
I've decided that though J loves me with all his heart, and truly wants to start a family and have a family with me (and settle down), maybe he just doesn't really know what to do?
I know it's a stereotype that when women get married, it's always the man who needs to 'settle down', that men act adolescent. But it's true. I'm running out of ways to say how I feel when we have 'the fight'. Because we only fight about one issue, you know. Generally it revolves around J going out at night. He says he'll be home by 1230am, and that he'll do the dishes clean up-- or something--- (because, as he says, I have too much to do with my own schoolwork). He calls instead-- or I have to call him, at 1am. He promises to arrive at 130. 145. etc. With the exception of maybe 2 times, he shows up near three.
I insist that this means he lied. He stated one thing, and didn't follow through. And I always end up doing whatever house work is deemed necessary AND my studying, and fuming, etc.
Earlier this week was the last time he did it. (imagine this argument happening once every 2-3 weeks for over a year). He always promises to change, AND he thinks that it all stops the day we get married. I'm not comfortable with that idea.
OH OH AND, he doesn't confide in anybody! Christ, how can you get perspective on the situation--- where its clear, constantly, that you screw up, unless you ask a trusted friend for advice!
That's it. We still have marriage prep to do with the church, but first we are going to couples therapy. I'm tired of saying the same thing over and over. And I want him to grow up.
He acts like my students, not like my colleagues. But when I say that, he gets really offended.
Oh yeah, and I got NO schoolwork done yesterday. erg.
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