So much happened over break--- dealt with newly divorced (and a bit lost) mother, a mean bigwheel that resisted assemblage, a BRIDAL FAIR with J and my Ma, and wonderful snow.
Dealing with the misguided path my diss. proposal took-- must reshape entirely. I'm scared to have the conversation where I say stuff like, "I don't like where I've ended up" "I'm not a modernist" "this diss has been heavily influenced by other people rather than what I want" etc. But I'm good--- I got to meet up with a friend from Desirable University a couple times, discuss the travel program I am somewhat affiliated with (as an assistant) and remember just exactly why I want to be a professor--- where I want to teach, how, etc. I still feel like crap, and stupid, about the oral exam before Christmas, but I'm closer to putting it behind me.
A good friend told me it's like a state athletic event--- once you pass the semifinals, no one cares what the score was in the previous round--- you just got to the next one, and you're there, so deal with it. I love that analogy.
gotta cut it short, phone ringing............
Friday, January 11, 2008
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