It's been awhile, I know I know

Something just happened and I need a place to put it. So here goes,
I just got a call for an interview at a local college, which is fabulous since I can't move anywhere for a job. Very exciting. I am careful about this because I know there are sooooo many of my colleagues interviewing for the same positions.

The other thing is what happened after--- I had to tell somebody, because I was so happy after waiting for so long to hear about my application. I called my husband, and my family. My sister and mother are actually at my little sister's graduation today, and i got to tell them together. But then I hung up, and the 'i need to tell someone' feeling wasn't done yet, so I left a message with my uncles. But then it hit me. I want to call my dad.

Getting over a loved one's death is always hard, and as time goes by it seems like it doesn't hurt as much. Good things fill in the emptiness. But there are still moments that take my breath away with shock, not because of the memory that I can't call him, but because somewhere unconsciously inside I thought for a split second it might be possible to call him. He's been dead for 17 years, you'd think by now my unconscious would have dealt with that.

I have to go back to being happy I got an interview now, because if I get the job, I GET TO MOVE OUT OF THIS YELLOW WALLPAPER NIGHTMARE! And that is the happiest thought of all.