#12

Dilemma: research.

I have to go get my primary sources for the diss. And I need to hit both ireland and London (source #1 and #2). I can also get the 3rd source (if not on ILL) from the Ransom Center or Rice U. But Columbia also has some issues of #2. I'd like to go to just Ireland (cheaper) and then NY later for #2, but my gut is telling me I need to do both.

I'm just afraid I won't get enough funding. I know I can get an outside loan of 1,000 from the study abroad people on campus, as I have done that before. But I don't want loans.

Ultimately, I feel guilty, planning a trip out of country without J, and we haven't even had a honeymoon yet. We gotta work on that.

Monday's #11

So yesterday (Monday) the horrible jackhammering drove me from the office. J picked me up and on the car seat was a card and red,red rose. It was very sweet-- we had a sushi lunch (J likes to call miso soup 'foot soup' so he sticks to rolls). We then went to Macy's, where he picked out a valentine's present for me (I'm trying to resist looking at our store credit balance).

We don't get the 'real' valentine's day, in the restuarant world. J will work allllllll day saturday. So yesterday he surprised me with our own day. Sadly, no work got done. But I have a pretty ring now.

#10

Ok ok I have to admit it.... I actually researched the average time period that pregnant women experience morning sickness. I was JUST CHECKING to see where it would be a feasible point to plan a kid. I have heard so much advice, and it's all different, because its based on experience-- which is honestly the only qualified advice that exists. But this is what I was looking up-- that if 'something happens' (look at me, to sheepish to say conception) between Christmas and Valentines NEXT YEAR, I won't have morning sickness until I'm ready to defend (if I follow my schedule).

But then again, I kinda think I won't get bad sickness. When I was prepping myself for 5 months on an ocean going vessel, I got as drunk as possible, then woke up early and rode every ride at Worlds of Fun (KC's version of six flags). AND I didn't hurl. I was hung over, and realized that in no way, shape, or form was my idea a GOOD one, but it comforted me enough to make me think I wouldn't have horrible sea sickness..... and I didn't. Atleast, not until we went through the typhoons. But any human would feel horrible if you were rocking back and forth at 45degree angles 24/7. Although, the only reason I spewed then was the wine, not the barf feeling.

But, I know that a strong stomach doesn't mean anything, when it comes to INTERNAL reasons to barf. I just think that I can stop the urge to purge (but then again, if someone's inside me it'll be their call not mine).

Ah sigh, I can't think of any other euphimisms for puke. And I'm not ready to seriously plan a child. I don't think. I mean, I'm still on birth control.

#9: to tattle or not

Today in class, a girl sat next to me with a laptop for notetaking. I always wondered what she was really doing, and figured she was screwing around. Well for about 30 minutes she took notes. I couldn't help but look occassionally at her screen so I could know if she was working. Then, she whipped out the facebook. And email. I am so annoyed. I wanted to tattle on her, but what do I do? My anger is, of course, born by the anger of an instructor who is pissed that she disrespects her instructor that way (in a lecture). But then, she pissed me off because its not fair. I can multi-task, and I would also like to have a computer during the less than interesting lecture moments.

So, do I tattle? Or do I stay quiet? J said be quiet, but I owe no allegiance to these undergrads--- and she kept missing what people were saying and asking me to repeat.

Unknown #8

I'm horrible about correspondence. I haven't finished my wedding thank yous yet! But shhhh, don't tell my mom!

Unknown #7

I'm a bit scared to death of my meeting with diss advisor today. I'm now constantly paranoid that they really WILL say, "no, you're not good enough for this. We won't give you 6th year funding. Go away."

Unknown #6 (Monday)

I don't like chili.