Ok so I admitted that the part that makes me the crankiest, besides J's general absence, is that I'm stuck here. Part of being stuck here includes CAD and the MIL. They want to help me and I want them to go away. MIL keeps telling me that in order to keep CAD under control, and perhaps not cause another meltdown, I should accept her help at some point. Here's the sitch:
CAD finally realized that she's made a crapper of a life for herself, as she was turned down by a local community college for school. It seems that she has flunked out one two many times from there and they don't feel she's a safe bet (duh). J's recent promotion also pisses her off, mainly because she's the kind of person who bullies in order to make themselves feel better (and somehow suggest her son is better than J). Well, now she's the one stuck in a crummy house with a deadbeat son who's serving probation for marjijuana and contempt of court. Cousin has no ambition or drive beyond playing video games and manipulating the family for money. And he's 23 I think.
Anyway, apparently she's been freaking out that she realized that she has no skills, and appears to be unable to hold down a job. In front of J and MIL I said that one day she will be forced to use the government. I even said welfare, which made MIL flinch. But I'm sorry, CAD made her bed. I have my own crazy aunt on my maternal side who manipulated and squeezed my grandparents. In the 80s, she landed on welfare and that is the situation that inspired her to get an associate's degree and to really take care of my cousins. It may not seem like it, but welfare empowered my CAT (again, she's a maternal aunt I don't really talk about) because she had to feel the results of each choice she made, rather than running to my broke grandparents. I think this is what is needed with CAD.
I know that the prodigal son should be treated well, but it doesn't count if he's family. Also, in the parable, the prodigal son was SORRY, and admitted is failures. CAD will never do that, so she'll never get a free ride from me. Welfare is not a bad place-- it can work, and I don't appreciate that the stereotype is such. Its true that public assistance is the perfect storm- but I believe in the indomitable human spirit, and I've witnessed the goodness that family support (without money) can bring about wonderful changes-- CAD is lost.
I babble and I know that I'm not expressing myself clearly. One point, is that I am still a hopeful when it comes to government. I believe in a little bit of big government, because we all need some help these days. I also believe, based on my own experience, that often times the people who need the most help don't qualify for government aid. I know that at some point in my life, a situation will occur for a friend and I will go out of my way to help them, because someone did it for us. I believe in paying it forward, when you can.
I also believe that the health care system needs a drastic overhaul, and change should come NOW. I don't care if doctors wine that they spent x dollars on graduate school in the anticipation of y dollars in career salary. Well Dr. doctor, I spent x dollars on graduate school and I KNOW I will not get anywhere near your average hourly appointment wage. You are not entitled. Tax the rich. If I win the lottery, I'll pay the taxes because that's the price we pay to live here and not somewhere else.
Oh, the other point is that I really want to avoid any rides offered by CAD or food. erg.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
J's gone
It's a good thing! J left for training for 10 weeks. Well, actually it's 8 weeks training but we are going on a honeymoon in 17 days. So it's 17 days, honeymoon, then October 23-Dec. 6th. It's not that long, but I don't like it. I know this is good, and that it has to happen. I just have to admit that I kind of resent it because he leaves me here, in this house, alone. I have to be honest and say that I am annoyed that I have to live here alone. It wouldn't be so offputting if we lived in a better place.
Oh wait, I have to stop typing. My mother in law just got here for the nightly visit to the dog and cat.... at 9pm.
Oh wait, I have to stop typing. My mother in law just got here for the nightly visit to the dog and cat.... at 9pm.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
holiday meal
A Double HA! today-- we decided that the 'family' thanksgiving meal will be potluck, and we're bringing the turkey (from C&J BBQ) so there's no insance 9 hour debacle like last christmas. CAD will be told she can bring her nutty rolls, but we're taking care of the dishes we really like :)
Yard work (despite how mean the tone of this is, I'm not that bitchy)
I've been irritated by some overgrown bushes on our driveway for quite awhile. Besides being in the way when exiting a car, there are also huge spiders that spin webs when the sun goes down, attached between the bushes and the cars-- so needless to say I carry a flashlight at night, so I won't walk into cobwebs on the way to the house. So yesterday I decided to clean up.
When I told J what I was going to go do with my hedge clippers, he commented that we shouldn't do that because the pomegranate tree (the biggest overgrown crap) was CAD's. I said you can't stop me. She doesn't live here, and seriously, its a damn bush. He also mentioned that he would back me up (of course) if she were to notice and make a big stink about it. I said he had no choice because he married me, and we don't like her anyways (of course).
But as I was chopping away for 45 minutes, I found myself daydreaming the scenario that she drives by, sees it and stops. It's not unlikely she would think she could yell at me or perhaps shove. My only concerns are that A) I would find myself beating up a 40year old, and might have to work hard at it and B) I'd have to be quiet because if J heard the commotion, he'd come outside and step in-- a much more uneven battle.
Then I realized, SERIOUSLY, why am I daydreaming about the potential catfight that won't happen? The scary part is that it is possible. She's so many tacos short of a mexican platter, that all she has is a scoop of guacamole in the middle!
So, now I have a cleaner driveway. Next weekend, I'm going to start looking for 'her' things and change them. First item on the list (I kid you not) is moving the stupid gecko suncatcher stuck in a window. I'm done with avoiding and learning to deal with her. I'm on the offensive.
And I still don't see why I should answer her phone calls.
When I told J what I was going to go do with my hedge clippers, he commented that we shouldn't do that because the pomegranate tree (the biggest overgrown crap) was CAD's. I said you can't stop me. She doesn't live here, and seriously, its a damn bush. He also mentioned that he would back me up (of course) if she were to notice and make a big stink about it. I said he had no choice because he married me, and we don't like her anyways (of course).
But as I was chopping away for 45 minutes, I found myself daydreaming the scenario that she drives by, sees it and stops. It's not unlikely she would think she could yell at me or perhaps shove. My only concerns are that A) I would find myself beating up a 40year old, and might have to work hard at it and B) I'd have to be quiet because if J heard the commotion, he'd come outside and step in-- a much more uneven battle.
Then I realized, SERIOUSLY, why am I daydreaming about the potential catfight that won't happen? The scary part is that it is possible. She's so many tacos short of a mexican platter, that all she has is a scoop of guacamole in the middle!
So, now I have a cleaner driveway. Next weekend, I'm going to start looking for 'her' things and change them. First item on the list (I kid you not) is moving the stupid gecko suncatcher stuck in a window. I'm done with avoiding and learning to deal with her. I'm on the offensive.
And I still don't see why I should answer her phone calls.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Alright, I shouldn't be here typing when I should be working on my diss. But cie la vie!
Things have gotten better with the house. The cat appears to be much happier in the kitchen, and never tries to 'break out'. I believe this to be because the....sigh, embarrassing part... two couchs in the living room are full of fleas. We have arranged for pest control, and vet visits for both the crapper- I mean- cat, and the dog outside. I think there's weak insulation between the house and outside, as the fleas appear to come from the window next to the dog house. I'm very glad we discovered it, but also am irritated by it. But just think, if we hadn't moved in here, poor Bingo and Sasha would still be lonely, bitten, and scratchy.
We are still waiting on the official offer of job for J-- they called Friday to ask if he had ever filled out an application (someone got ahead of themselves somewhere!) so sadly the talent exec said she'd have to call again after she finished paperwork on credit/background check. sigh.
On the upswing, I'm having a very hard time concentrating on school because we splurged (probably at the wrong time) and bought a honeymoon package! But I'm tired of justifying it to the public-- by god we deserved a freaking vacation, and with J starting a new position, he won't have extra time off until January. I'll barely see him at christmas, let alone not-at-all for thirteen weeks of training. Thankfully, since we set it up before interviews, the company approves of the vacation.
Now, I just have to remember, when I start scratching my bugbites, the horrible lesson I learned of bedbugs in 2000. Remember the 156 bites on one leg, 63 on the other..... the horror! And the doctor only gave me calamine lotion- in a shot glass! Remember, rugburn was the only way to itch them all...
So many people took pictures of my legs back then-- if ONLY I had a copy of one of the pics!
Things have gotten better with the house. The cat appears to be much happier in the kitchen, and never tries to 'break out'. I believe this to be because the....sigh, embarrassing part... two couchs in the living room are full of fleas. We have arranged for pest control, and vet visits for both the crapper- I mean- cat, and the dog outside. I think there's weak insulation between the house and outside, as the fleas appear to come from the window next to the dog house. I'm very glad we discovered it, but also am irritated by it. But just think, if we hadn't moved in here, poor Bingo and Sasha would still be lonely, bitten, and scratchy.
We are still waiting on the official offer of job for J-- they called Friday to ask if he had ever filled out an application (someone got ahead of themselves somewhere!) so sadly the talent exec said she'd have to call again after she finished paperwork on credit/background check. sigh.
On the upswing, I'm having a very hard time concentrating on school because we splurged (probably at the wrong time) and bought a honeymoon package! But I'm tired of justifying it to the public-- by god we deserved a freaking vacation, and with J starting a new position, he won't have extra time off until January. I'll barely see him at christmas, let alone not-at-all for thirteen weeks of training. Thankfully, since we set it up before interviews, the company approves of the vacation.
Now, I just have to remember, when I start scratching my bugbites, the horrible lesson I learned of bedbugs in 2000. Remember the 156 bites on one leg, 63 on the other..... the horror! And the doctor only gave me calamine lotion- in a shot glass! Remember, rugburn was the only way to itch them all...
So many people took pictures of my legs back then-- if ONLY I had a copy of one of the pics!
Monday, September 7, 2009
I am being held hostage by a cat.
It was part of the move-in package, but now it's just too much for me. Bingo has targeted the two areas in the living room that we sit in-- the Couch and my office chair. But then again there is the top of the piano, the rug by the door, the lamp by the other door, the doorway to the bedrooms, and who knows where else. She craps and pees most places, but regurgitates on my chair. We have put our foot down on the cat- she goes, or I refuse to live here. We've decided on a compromise. We've exiled Bingo to the kitchen during the night, and when we are gone. We will see how that goes. Otherwise, she's out. I wish it were easier to just send her to another family home, but it's impossible because the family believes that Grandma's will to live is wrapped up in her cat. CAD's house is too dirty and hoard-ed to be a good option for the cat. It's not humane to the cat.
BUT the good news is J got a promotion and hopefully we'll have some paychecks soon that will let us move into a REAL house, that's clean and big and nice and doesn't have fleas in the couch, or a pissy cat that hates me (for no forseeable reason) or a broken kitchen. yeay!
Trust me, there will be an amazing dinner party when that happens! (probably in January or February)
ADDED TUESDAY:
Last night she stayed in the kitchen, and didn't crap on anything! yeay!
It was part of the move-in package, but now it's just too much for me. Bingo has targeted the two areas in the living room that we sit in-- the Couch and my office chair. But then again there is the top of the piano, the rug by the door, the lamp by the other door, the doorway to the bedrooms, and who knows where else. She craps and pees most places, but regurgitates on my chair. We have put our foot down on the cat- she goes, or I refuse to live here. We've decided on a compromise. We've exiled Bingo to the kitchen during the night, and when we are gone. We will see how that goes. Otherwise, she's out. I wish it were easier to just send her to another family home, but it's impossible because the family believes that Grandma's will to live is wrapped up in her cat. CAD's house is too dirty and hoard-ed to be a good option for the cat. It's not humane to the cat.
BUT the good news is J got a promotion and hopefully we'll have some paychecks soon that will let us move into a REAL house, that's clean and big and nice and doesn't have fleas in the couch, or a pissy cat that hates me (for no forseeable reason) or a broken kitchen. yeay!
Trust me, there will be an amazing dinner party when that happens! (probably in January or February)
ADDED TUESDAY:
Last night she stayed in the kitchen, and didn't crap on anything! yeay!
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