Sunday we went to The Family house for dinner. And I should have said something, but I didn't because religion is a touchy subject, but there was no grace said. It was Easter, and we didn't pray over our special meal. They just tucked in and ate away, discussing life. So I said my own private prayer, and realized that my attitude toward religion is changing. I've always told my uncles that I believed that Religion is important to the young, the very old, the infirm-- those who need it. I just comment on the fact that in our current society, in the US, most religious people (and I'm really only speaking of catholics, from my experience) need religion. When we are happy, content, and hopeful, as a society, we let go of religion. That's not to say that spirituality is lost, I mean organized religion-- sunday school, parochial school, potluck dinners, seder dinners, walks of faith, retreats, sunday services, etc.
Anyways, it was odd to me that we didn't pray because its so important to J's mom we have a minister from her faith at our wedding. We actually talked about it over dinner. Apparently I have to find out how the honorarium is given to the minister. I'm catholic, and for the past 8 years of my life (before I moved down south) I only interacted with Jesuits, who are not allowed any real possessions. So when my friends/family got married, you honored the priest with a little envelope of cash--- no donation to an altar guild, or flowers for the church, etc. It was easy.
I'm not used to dealing with ministers who actually make money, and have families. oy.
We also discussed the invitations, and got that kinda settled. Apparently, there's an entire wing of the family J doesn't know, and we didn't count them in for invites...... have to do a recount now. Gee, if I'd gotten a list of names from her LAST YEAR then I would know!
But overall, I'm happy with what we decided with all the various invites.
finally.
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2 comments:
Paying a minister is a lot like paying a priest. You give the minister an envelope with a check in it, and you make it out directly to the minister. In my experience, the minister shouldn't expect payment--performing a wedding ceremony is actually part of his job, especially if he is performing it for a member of his own church. Since this isn't the case for your wedding, you can just discreetly hand him a check (in an envelope with a nice thank you card) at the rehearsal.
Thank you! I was starting to feel a bit like it would be some shady exchange!
So here's the next question-- do I give some sort of 'thank you' to the deacon who helps us prepare, here?
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