D Day for my Ma

Today's the day my ma had to sell her house, buy a new one, finalize divorce, and move. AND my sister found out that her second child will be a

BOY!

I tried to be nice to my ma. I bought her 2 sets of clothes-- so she'd have something new to wear when she's starting new. there are things about my father's death that she never dealt with, and has said have begun to hit her now. I see that, and I just wish I could be there to help.

But someone sent her a bouquet of flowers today.... from my dad..... who's dead...... I'm sure it was meant to be a nice sentiment, and it was. But the things like that drive my ma crazy. It had to come from someone who knew she has talked about thinking about my dad lately. But without signing a name, I'm actually waiting to get angry if it's a really wrong person--- like my ex-step-father who thinks that he can have a friendship with my ma.

What do we do with exs? Is there a parallel between my 'friendship' with my ex and my ma and ex-step? If I choose a clean break with ex-step, I should do the same to any exs. I get that. But is the same true if I don't break off with ex-step? I'm not angry for ex-step. I feel sorry for him. And annoyed, like he wasted our time for 11 years. My ma could have actually dealt with her grief and being alone, and MAYBE found someone else to be truly happy with. But, and I think ex-step agrees, no one will be happy with ex-step. He wills it that way. I feel sorry for all he's missing out on, the family he doesn't get to be a part of anymore.

I don't know if he quite realizes yet that while he will be invited to birthday parties, he's not a part of Christmas eve or dinner or present opening with the fam. The collective relationship ceases, and it's our turn to create individual relationships. Let's see what the future brings.

Oh yeah, who sent the flowers!!!